roma v siena
*sigh*
another loss at home. another game of wasted chances, almost goals, nice moves that end in nothing and ridiculous defending. *sigh*
at least taddei's goal was nice........ look at that! that's me looking on the bright side.
*sigh*
juve v inter
i hate juve. i hate them i hate them i hate them.
this inter seems to be vintage inter - all fouls & kicks. needless to say i was not surprised that both juve goals came from freekicks. and materazzi was vintage materazzi: brute force & terrible tackles. can mancini really perform magic on this bunch?
fiorentina v livorno
oooh tuscan derby! that means luca toni!! mmmmm luca toni. and he was wet (there was a downpour!). mmmm luca toni wet.
it was a typical derby: lots of little fouls, talking back to each other, fan abuse & cheers, and an unnecessary red card! poor lucarelli getting sent off because of dissent. now that's harsh.
there was also a great almost-comeback from 10 man livorno - they manage 2 goals in 2 minutes but it wasn't quite enough.
milan v reggina
those squeals of delight are from jenny as she celebrates not 1 but 2 goals from 37 year old defender paolo maldini. not only does he score really nice goals that gilardino would have given anything to score, but paolo looks damn hot while doing so. oh and bobo has like a million chances and misses them all. typical.
09 October 2005
02 October 2005
week 5 of serie a & la liga
things a bit more interesting over in spain than in italy...
italy sees the big three win - milan easily over treviso, inter with a 1-0 over a scrappy & tough fiorentina (toni looked yummy, as usual, mmmmm luca toni), and juve comeback after going a goal down to parma to win 2-1. and i have to say, as nice as his thighs are, ibrahimovic is a prat.
and my roma can only manage a 0-0 draw against cagliari. once again, they don't play badly, they just can't finish their chances. and that is a lot more frustrating in my opinion. oh, and aquilani, while i know totti is probably one of your all-time heroes as a romanista, please do not grow your hair out to be just like his.
while over in spain, we get High Entertainment whether it's an action packed game from barca or strange celebration from madrid.
or fanciful hair as in the espanyol v villareal game. luis garcia has what i can only describe as pure danny zucco on top/front and then a bad 80s tail in the back. now that's entertaining in a laughing at him sort of way.
there were cuties to entertain me in the valencia v real sociedad game: both goalscorers for valencia (aimar & villa) fit that description.
betis v barca: in the first 20 minutes we get a missed penalty from eto'o, a betis goal, then a betis red card - for the ever-popular sarcastic clapping at a ref. barca use that man advantage in the second half to win this easily 4-1.
alaves v real madrid: can we start having red cards for just plain bad goal celebrations? like the weird dying bug display from ronaldo & robinho. nice goals and all but dumb dumb celebrations. and ronaldo, we do call you a fat b*stard so how do you think your thighs look when you are on your back, flinging your legs around in the air, the flab flapping in the wind?
ewwww, i think i just grossed myself out with that imagery.
italy sees the big three win - milan easily over treviso, inter with a 1-0 over a scrappy & tough fiorentina (toni looked yummy, as usual, mmmmm luca toni), and juve comeback after going a goal down to parma to win 2-1. and i have to say, as nice as his thighs are, ibrahimovic is a prat.
and my roma can only manage a 0-0 draw against cagliari. once again, they don't play badly, they just can't finish their chances. and that is a lot more frustrating in my opinion. oh, and aquilani, while i know totti is probably one of your all-time heroes as a romanista, please do not grow your hair out to be just like his.
while over in spain, we get High Entertainment whether it's an action packed game from barca or strange celebration from madrid.
or fanciful hair as in the espanyol v villareal game. luis garcia has what i can only describe as pure danny zucco on top/front and then a bad 80s tail in the back. now that's entertaining in a laughing at him sort of way.
there were cuties to entertain me in the valencia v real sociedad game: both goalscorers for valencia (aimar & villa) fit that description.
betis v barca: in the first 20 minutes we get a missed penalty from eto'o, a betis goal, then a betis red card - for the ever-popular sarcastic clapping at a ref. barca use that man advantage in the second half to win this easily 4-1.
alaves v real madrid: can we start having red cards for just plain bad goal celebrations? like the weird dying bug display from ronaldo & robinho. nice goals and all but dumb dumb celebrations. and ronaldo, we do call you a fat b*stard so how do you think your thighs look when you are on your back, flinging your legs around in the air, the flab flapping in the wind?
ewwww, i think i just grossed myself out with that imagery.
week 7 & 8 of the epl
let's talk promoted teams:
i would have said west ham is the best of the bunch but look who is the highest amongst the three...... WIGAN???
up, wigan. a win over everton and then even a bigger win over bolton see wigan climb to 8th(!!!) with 4 wins. that's mighty impressive.
but i think west ham have been playing the best football out of all three; they gave the arse a good game and look able to beat anyone with the right motivation and spirit.
but let's face it, sunderland actually finally winning a game is the surprise of the bunch. i was almost willing to bet they'd go another 20-odd games without a win in the top flight. but they beat middlesbrough with 2 lovely goals and then follow that up with an almost win against west ham.... once again, their lack of 100% concentration for the full 90 minutes makes them pay.
bolton & big sam are still in the top 6 of the table. yes, they lost against wigan but the week before saw a lovely goal from nolan to beat portsmouth 1-0. entertaining over all - especially with big sam freaking out on the sidelines and perrin doing the now infamous "sarcastic applause" towards the referee and getting sent to the stands for it.
oh, champions of europe, how i mock thee.
no, no more poetry at the moment but let's say i've enjoyed the pool's last two games. first we get a 2-2 draw against birmingham (complete with an own goal & their first goal from open play). then, it gets better. yes, they manage to score another goal from open play but that's all they can muster against my boys in blue. i hope those scousers in the stands holding their paper CL trophies were force fed them after this goal fest by chelsea all courtesy of drogba, the star of the show. he won the penalty that super frank scored and then assisted the goals by duff, joey cole and geremi. not bad for a day's work, eh? now only if he could get a haircut.......
but all chelsea haters can take to heart the fact that both luke moore of villa and stevie g showed that there are moments of sloppy defending that the opposition can take advantage of and it's not impossible to win an "unwinable" game.
just ask wigan, west ham & sunderland.
the best game of week 8 was the london derby between charlton and spurs. the fans were certainly enjoying it - i could heard some, ahem, interesting chants from the stands ("wanker wanker!!" & "who the f*cking hell are you?" were 2 of my personal favs). and spurs on the winning end of a great comeback?? wow, that's new. the tottenham defense goes to sleep for the charlton goals and are suddenly down 2-0 but then they wake up. mido, who looked much better with shorter hair, does some great work in this game and has an awfully nice goal to show for it. and robbie keane comes off the bench, yet again, to score and do some fancy flips. but did anyone else notice him teasing the ref with that point at the shirt then flick yer face bit of slapstick humour??? maybe he was having too much fun out there.
i would have said west ham is the best of the bunch but look who is the highest amongst the three...... WIGAN???
up, wigan. a win over everton and then even a bigger win over bolton see wigan climb to 8th(!!!) with 4 wins. that's mighty impressive.
but i think west ham have been playing the best football out of all three; they gave the arse a good game and look able to beat anyone with the right motivation and spirit.
but let's face it, sunderland actually finally winning a game is the surprise of the bunch. i was almost willing to bet they'd go another 20-odd games without a win in the top flight. but they beat middlesbrough with 2 lovely goals and then follow that up with an almost win against west ham.... once again, their lack of 100% concentration for the full 90 minutes makes them pay.
bolton & big sam are still in the top 6 of the table. yes, they lost against wigan but the week before saw a lovely goal from nolan to beat portsmouth 1-0. entertaining over all - especially with big sam freaking out on the sidelines and perrin doing the now infamous "sarcastic applause" towards the referee and getting sent to the stands for it.
oh, champions of europe, how i mock thee.
no, no more poetry at the moment but let's say i've enjoyed the pool's last two games. first we get a 2-2 draw against birmingham (complete with an own goal & their first goal from open play). then, it gets better. yes, they manage to score another goal from open play but that's all they can muster against my boys in blue. i hope those scousers in the stands holding their paper CL trophies were force fed them after this goal fest by chelsea all courtesy of drogba, the star of the show. he won the penalty that super frank scored and then assisted the goals by duff, joey cole and geremi. not bad for a day's work, eh? now only if he could get a haircut.......
but all chelsea haters can take to heart the fact that both luke moore of villa and stevie g showed that there are moments of sloppy defending that the opposition can take advantage of and it's not impossible to win an "unwinable" game.
just ask wigan, west ham & sunderland.
the best game of week 8 was the london derby between charlton and spurs. the fans were certainly enjoying it - i could heard some, ahem, interesting chants from the stands ("wanker wanker!!" & "who the f*cking hell are you?" were 2 of my personal favs). and spurs on the winning end of a great comeback?? wow, that's new. the tottenham defense goes to sleep for the charlton goals and are suddenly down 2-0 but then they wake up. mido, who looked much better with shorter hair, does some great work in this game and has an awfully nice goal to show for it. and robbie keane comes off the bench, yet again, to score and do some fancy flips. but did anyone else notice him teasing the ref with that point at the shirt then flick yer face bit of slapstick humour??? maybe he was having too much fun out there.
25 September 2005
week 3 & 4 of la liga
really, is there anything we want to talk about other than real?
real madrid of course. first, they lose, yet again, this time to espanyol. yes, it was another strange/controversial goal - was there a whistle? does it matter? - and 2 red cards. but that was only the preview for the real fun midweek. hurrah! woodgate is alive & is actually starting a game! booooo! he manages not only an own goal but also a red card on his debut! hurrah!
also of note......
my torres is scoring again... sometimes for a win (against barca no less) and sometimes in defeat (against real sociedad after having a 2-0 lead for almost an hour).
two 2-2 draws for valencia - one in an action packed game against deportivo (lots of nastiness, fouls, red cards & spitting in this one!) and another against barca in midweek. david villa is not only a cutie, but also on a bit of a scoring streak - he was responsible for 3 of those 4 goals.
and my bilbao has 2 defeats to see them drop into the bottom half of the table.
but the big surprise is looking at the top of the table....celta & getafe??? yay for the underdogs!
real madrid of course. first, they lose, yet again, this time to espanyol. yes, it was another strange/controversial goal - was there a whistle? does it matter? - and 2 red cards. but that was only the preview for the real fun midweek. hurrah! woodgate is alive & is actually starting a game! booooo! he manages not only an own goal but also a red card on his debut! hurrah!
also of note......
my torres is scoring again... sometimes for a win (against barca no less) and sometimes in defeat (against real sociedad after having a 2-0 lead for almost an hour).
two 2-2 draws for valencia - one in an action packed game against deportivo (lots of nastiness, fouls, red cards & spitting in this one!) and another against barca in midweek. david villa is not only a cutie, but also on a bit of a scoring streak - he was responsible for 3 of those 4 goals.
and my bilbao has 2 defeats to see them drop into the bottom half of the table.
but the big surprise is looking at the top of the table....celta & getafe??? yay for the underdogs!
23 September 2005
week 6 of the epl
in haiku form:
a crespo header
as swift as a hunting hawk
robben's quick winner
he's back from the dead
two goals from his head so high
poor the sad toffees
sleep, sleep, sleep soundly
as the game goes on you sleep
and roy breaks his foot
city tries and tries
but lady luck is not there
handball for big sam
oh the spurs we jest
eight in the midfield packed full
without rippling nets
a crespo header
as swift as a hunting hawk
robben's quick winner
he's back from the dead
two goals from his head so high
poor the sad toffees
sleep, sleep, sleep soundly
as the game goes on you sleep
and roy breaks his foot
city tries and tries
but lady luck is not there
handball for big sam
oh the spurs we jest
eight in the midfield packed full
without rippling nets
22 September 2005
week 7 & 8 of ligue 1
ajaccio
awww our first loss of the season! and against auxerre who have been having a torrid time of late! and we even scored first and it was called back for ABSOLUTELY NO REASON. b*stards.
and my cutie pieroni has a bobo-like miss. bless his cute little head. we at least bounce back with a point in midweek and are still in the top half of the table. if we can remain there until christmas, i'd be amazed and ecstatic.
st. etienne
they may have had a great 3-0 win over psg at the weekend but then they also lose for their first time at midweek against nancy!! nancy who are in 18th place! and it breaks their run of 1534 minutes of not conceeding a goal at home. damn. no wonder janot is my french fantasy league keeper. what happened to that brilliant backline we saw against psg??
lyon & psg
so that leaves lyon as the only unbeaten team in france but these past two games have only been draws while psg at least have a win and a loss and are now 2 points behind lyon in the table. and how cute is landrin (psg) with his spikey hair lately? lyon should consider themselves lucky after that bordeaux game: 2 handballs in the box that were not called against lyon and their defense looked shakier than it has been all season.
monaco
poor poor monaco. they lose over the weekend and then deschamps quits which throws everything into chaos. all the credit in the world to them for managing a win in midweek. the game against nice this coming weekend should help them continue rebuilding. you just hate to see prince albert looking all unhappy in the stands, now don't you?
awww our first loss of the season! and against auxerre who have been having a torrid time of late! and we even scored first and it was called back for ABSOLUTELY NO REASON. b*stards.
and my cutie pieroni has a bobo-like miss. bless his cute little head. we at least bounce back with a point in midweek and are still in the top half of the table. if we can remain there until christmas, i'd be amazed and ecstatic.
st. etienne
they may have had a great 3-0 win over psg at the weekend but then they also lose for their first time at midweek against nancy!! nancy who are in 18th place! and it breaks their run of 1534 minutes of not conceeding a goal at home. damn. no wonder janot is my french fantasy league keeper. what happened to that brilliant backline we saw against psg??
lyon & psg
so that leaves lyon as the only unbeaten team in france but these past two games have only been draws while psg at least have a win and a loss and are now 2 points behind lyon in the table. and how cute is landrin (psg) with his spikey hair lately? lyon should consider themselves lucky after that bordeaux game: 2 handballs in the box that were not called against lyon and their defense looked shakier than it has been all season.
monaco
poor poor monaco. they lose over the weekend and then deschamps quits which throws everything into chaos. all the credit in the world to them for managing a win in midweek. the game against nice this coming weekend should help them continue rebuilding. you just hate to see prince albert looking all unhappy in the stands, now don't you?
week 3 & 4 of serie a
roma roma roma
at least it was a point against livorno & there were some fancy totti moves that i just love to watch. and then it gets better at home against parma! nonda scores twice and pannucci & totti make it a proper rout. have i mentioned how much i love the youngsters lately? curci, bovo, rosi, aquilani.... add in veteran de rossi at the ripe old age of 22 and this is a team that can become something to cheer about for years to come.
milan
a crisis this early in the season??? milan lose to sampdoria (and the only goal they manage to score was actually offside) but then get it together enough to beat lazio. ahaahahahahahaa. sheva had a very nice goal. no paolo on the pitch but we get to see him watching from the stands and even celebrating the goals. ah bless.
and damn, he's hot.
fiorentina
but not as hot as luca toni (for me, at least). he scores twice against udinese and has an assist for fiore and then scores again against lecce. his thighs are really really lovely.
no, really. he's so freaking tall!
oh and lecce were awfully cute when they scored and then all ran to hug the coach. how often do you see that?
inter
mmm. cruz all wet and with his shirt off is not a bad sight. trust me. 2 wins in these 2 games - nothing spectacular, but 6 points will keep the grumbling at bay for now.
at least it was a point against livorno & there were some fancy totti moves that i just love to watch. and then it gets better at home against parma! nonda scores twice and pannucci & totti make it a proper rout. have i mentioned how much i love the youngsters lately? curci, bovo, rosi, aquilani.... add in veteran de rossi at the ripe old age of 22 and this is a team that can become something to cheer about for years to come.
milan
a crisis this early in the season??? milan lose to sampdoria (and the only goal they manage to score was actually offside) but then get it together enough to beat lazio. ahaahahahahahaa. sheva had a very nice goal. no paolo on the pitch but we get to see him watching from the stands and even celebrating the goals. ah bless.
and damn, he's hot.
fiorentina
but not as hot as luca toni (for me, at least). he scores twice against udinese and has an assist for fiore and then scores again against lecce. his thighs are really really lovely.
no, really. he's so freaking tall!
oh and lecce were awfully cute when they scored and then all ran to hug the coach. how often do you see that?
inter
mmm. cruz all wet and with his shirt off is not a bad sight. trust me. 2 wins in these 2 games - nothing spectacular, but 6 points will keep the grumbling at bay for now.
21 September 2005
week 4 of serie a
(week 3 will come soon.... promise. x)
roma
didn't i say on the show that i was going to be positive and that we always do well at home against parma??
fiorentina
who scored again? oh yes, luca toni. mmmmmm luca toni.
and to top off the happines...... lazio lost. and roma are ahead of both milan & lazio in the table.
roma
didn't i say on the show that i was going to be positive and that we always do well at home against parma??
fiorentina
who scored again? oh yes, luca toni. mmmmmm luca toni.
and to top off the happines...... lazio lost. and roma are ahead of both milan & lazio in the table.
15 September 2005
week 2 of La liga
deportivo v atletico madrid
diego tristan, did you really shave a number 9 onto your head? why would you ever think that was a good idea? we can already see that you are number 9 from your jersey.
madrid were robbed! that depor goal at the end came in the 94:36 minute of 4 minues extra time (see the problem there?) and a depor player took out one of the madrid defenders in the box during the corner kick. i call foul.
real madrid v celta de vigo
speaking of foul....... both madrid sides were hard done by this past weekend. in a reverse of the famous spurs goal last season, celta score a goal that didn't go over the line. no complaints on the first goal - that was just the fault of the usual terrible madrid defending. once again, casillas does more than his fair share of defensive duties and makes a fantastic save on a celta penalty but couldn't get the rebound.
barcalona v mallorca
bad week for mallorca. no nonsense barca win this one with all kinds of nonsense from mallorca: 2 red cards for them and one of the boys dares to slap puyol in the face before making his way off! even though his hair is way too big, that's no reason to slap him!
diego tristan, did you really shave a number 9 onto your head? why would you ever think that was a good idea? we can already see that you are number 9 from your jersey.
madrid were robbed! that depor goal at the end came in the 94:36 minute of 4 minues extra time (see the problem there?) and a depor player took out one of the madrid defenders in the box during the corner kick. i call foul.
real madrid v celta de vigo
speaking of foul....... both madrid sides were hard done by this past weekend. in a reverse of the famous spurs goal last season, celta score a goal that didn't go over the line. no complaints on the first goal - that was just the fault of the usual terrible madrid defending. once again, casillas does more than his fair share of defensive duties and makes a fantastic save on a celta penalty but couldn't get the rebound.
barcalona v mallorca
bad week for mallorca. no nonsense barca win this one with all kinds of nonsense from mallorca: 2 red cards for them and one of the boys dares to slap puyol in the face before making his way off! even though his hair is way too big, that's no reason to slap him!
week 2 of Serie A
roma v udinese
it was just one of those days. we didn't play badly, we just didn't have luck on our side. totti alone had 2 chances in the box that should have been goals that somehow he missed. oh, and cassano comes in & shows off his football talent to distract us from his toublemaking talents. i would be less depressed if it wasn't our first home game that we lost.
at least the new ball was flashy.
messina v fiorentina
have i mentioned luca toni lately? how pretty he is? how he's been in great form lately? oh yeah, and then there is the footballing aspect........
oh, where was i? yes, toni. who scored again and had other chances and set up fiore for what would have been a lovely goal. fiorentina were cruising 2-0 and then they just seemed to lose focus and let messina back in the game. maybe they were frightened by messina's keeper. did you see his hair??? that will be give me nightmares for weeks!
palermo v inter
great freakin game from palermo - the fans were lovin it! seeing a game like this makes me want to go live in palermo & have a season ticket. bonus: the cute pink shirts
inter are a mess in the back without zanetti & adriano is anonymous so it's not that big of a surprise when palermo are up 3-0. the surprise was that inter did not manage one of their famous comebacks for a draw. good for palermo. and santana is kinda cute.
it was just one of those days. we didn't play badly, we just didn't have luck on our side. totti alone had 2 chances in the box that should have been goals that somehow he missed. oh, and cassano comes in & shows off his football talent to distract us from his toublemaking talents. i would be less depressed if it wasn't our first home game that we lost.
at least the new ball was flashy.
messina v fiorentina
have i mentioned luca toni lately? how pretty he is? how he's been in great form lately? oh yeah, and then there is the footballing aspect........
oh, where was i? yes, toni. who scored again and had other chances and set up fiore for what would have been a lovely goal. fiorentina were cruising 2-0 and then they just seemed to lose focus and let messina back in the game. maybe they were frightened by messina's keeper. did you see his hair??? that will be give me nightmares for weeks!
palermo v inter
great freakin game from palermo - the fans were lovin it! seeing a game like this makes me want to go live in palermo & have a season ticket. bonus: the cute pink shirts
inter are a mess in the back without zanetti & adriano is anonymous so it's not that big of a surprise when palermo are up 3-0. the surprise was that inter did not manage one of their famous comebacks for a draw. good for palermo. and santana is kinda cute.
13 September 2005
week 6 of ligue 1
marseille finally win, auxerre continues to lose & the same three teams continue to be unbeaten... st. etienne and....
ajaccio v nancy
another win for the corsicans! my haze of incredulous happiness continues. a nice header from lucas (who will be snapped up by a bigger club next season) seals the second win of the season for ajaccio. they still need to finish more of their chances but i won't start complaining yet.
lyon v monaco
the lyon fans welcome new boy fred with a lovely display of a giant brasilian flag. fred is so touched that he scores twice: in the fitst 5 minutes or so of each half. now that's the way to endear yourself to the fans. oh, and monaco, was buttercup the colour you were going for with the new away kit? pale gold? i think non. at least dechamps looked smart in his cute little monaco polo as his team was losing.
ajaccio v nancy
another win for the corsicans! my haze of incredulous happiness continues. a nice header from lucas (who will be snapped up by a bigger club next season) seals the second win of the season for ajaccio. they still need to finish more of their chances but i won't start complaining yet.
lyon v monaco
the lyon fans welcome new boy fred with a lovely display of a giant brasilian flag. fred is so touched that he scores twice: in the fitst 5 minutes or so of each half. now that's the way to endear yourself to the fans. oh, and monaco, was buttercup the colour you were going for with the new away kit? pale gold? i think non. at least dechamps looked smart in his cute little monaco polo as his team was losing.
week 5 of the EPL
middlesbrough v arsenal
wow. lots of hair issues during this match. first and foremost: why is there a muppet on the head of xavier? and i think a few of the arsenal boys went to the barbershop before this game and had a trim. does your contract with l'oreal allow that robert? and hey, who knew queudrue was cute underneath that horrible hair! see what good hair v bad hair can do to a boy? anyway, a performance that gunner fans will want to forget: all flash, no results. there was a definite struggle to make anything happen near the box without their dear titi. what a shame..... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
*wipes tears of laughter from eyes*
tottenham v liverpool
an actual entertaining 0-0: end to end play, lots of shots, disallowed goals for both sides and the real star of the show: cisse's hair. what exactly is that on top of his head? bird droppings? and why is it on his chin as well?
newcastle v fulham
mickey owen's first outing. and the midget doesn't score.
*checks william hill* what are those odds on souness being the first manager to be scaked this season?
wow. lots of hair issues during this match. first and foremost: why is there a muppet on the head of xavier? and i think a few of the arsenal boys went to the barbershop before this game and had a trim. does your contract with l'oreal allow that robert? and hey, who knew queudrue was cute underneath that horrible hair! see what good hair v bad hair can do to a boy? anyway, a performance that gunner fans will want to forget: all flash, no results. there was a definite struggle to make anything happen near the box without their dear titi. what a shame..... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
*wipes tears of laughter from eyes*
tottenham v liverpool
an actual entertaining 0-0: end to end play, lots of shots, disallowed goals for both sides and the real star of the show: cisse's hair. what exactly is that on top of his head? bird droppings? and why is it on his chin as well?
newcastle v fulham
mickey owen's first outing. and the midget doesn't score.
*checks william hill* what are those odds on souness being the first manager to be scaked this season?
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