23 December 2005

happy holidays

dear listeners/readers,
whatever it is that you celebrate, please do it safely. have a happy new year's eve & enjoy your hangovers with some footy.
cheers to everyone,

week 16 & 17 of la liga

why did you ruin it athletic bilbao? we had he chance to go into the winter break with 2 wins & a glimmer of hope...... we actually won a rather convincing 2-0 game against a poor real betis, playing the best football i've seen of bilbao this season & then we go up 2-0 against real zaragoza....... and then we end up losing that game 3-2. *sigh* i understand why we have been at the bottom of the table for most of the season. but wait! there is a positive here! we are officially OUT of the relegation zone! 17th in the league! woo hoo!
at the other end, valencia has risen to 3rd after 2 more wins. the first was a 1-0 against alaves & the scorer, albiol, seems to be playing for valencia.... and yet he doesn't have highlights in his hair! i hope the other boys take care of this over the break....
osasuna are still enjoying the number 2 spot. they go down to 10 men at real madrid but still manage to score first. too bad madid equalized. they did win against the other madrid team. atletico madrid are edging closer and closer to bilbao's position rather than real madrid's although they are slipping as well. madrid are still in the top 5 (barely) even after only a point in these last two games. after scraping a win at home against osasuna they lose to racing santander. overall, it doesn't seem like it will be a very happy christmas for any fan in madrid.
cue cheers all around in barcelona. 2 more wins, eto'o is the top scorer in the league, ronaldinho is the world/european/planet earth/milky way galaxy player of the year, messi is the new wonderkid...... yup, a very happy christmas & lots of new year's parties for the catalans.

week 19 of ligue 1

lyon lose. yes, you read that correctly, the mighty lyon finally lost a game. the lyon fans didn't seem to enjoy a great performance from lille. things weren't going too well with lyon: cris was screaming at his defense, carew was yellowed for a dive, fred got rid of his 'fro & braided his hair all rio ferdinand style. and that's not cool. lille's #17 (makoun), on the other hand, has cute sticky-uppy hair. govou (who has not-so-cute sticky-uppy hair) does manage to score a lovely goal for lyon but that's about all they can do. they even feel extra hard done-by when they score & it's called back for a non-existent foul on the lille keeper.
the cuties at auxerre lose at home to nancy to a penalty. the boy (zerka) who takes it & scores then celebrates by brandishing a zorro-like 'z' in the air. *cough*dork*cough*
another interesting goal celebration over at rennes for st. etienne. the vistors win 1-0 and there are cheerleading hurkeys all around.
and then there is my personal fav goal celebration, the shirt removal. yes, we see less & less of it, but it has been the boys in the french league who have been ignoring the stupid yellow card punishment & go for it anyways. (i heartily approve.) so this boy at lens decides to take off his shirt & has another jersey underneath it. the exact same jersey. and he STILL gets a yellow! c'est ridicule! at least lens won 2-0.
oh! and the best news is that ajaccio actually score a goal!!! the little corsicans don't win the game but hey, it's our first goal since october 16th and i'll take what i can get right now. a point against psg seems like a good way to go into the winter break. they can refresh & come back next year & climb out of that relegation zone. *fingers crossed*

21 December 2005

week 16 & 17 of serie a

thank you oh thank you la befana (the italian christmas time good witch who brings the gifties). you brought me 4 points in 2 games for my roma and i can breathe easier during our winter break. i was not pleased with the draw against sampdoria but hey, what do you expect when you play a 4-6-0. no, seriously. we don't have any fit strikers. totti was it & he scored the only goal in the game. and then, something happened at home that doesn't normally happen.... we f*cking won a game! 4-0!!!! ok, it was alot of luck, a dubious penalty, and a sending off for chievo early in the 2nd half that helped us, but still - 4-0!!! 2 more from totti (watch out luca toni - totti now has 9), and one each from perrotta & taddei. nice. i think i am actually feeling positive about roma!
fiorentina pick up 4 points as well..... and my toni still hasn't scored! he hits the post like crazy (see game against empoli where pazzani scored off the rebound) and he's had some poor finishing (see shots against palermo) but he can't get that goal #17. maybe he just needs this winter break to recharge. and you know what would be really good for him? a nice sunny break in sunny los angeles. he could come to the beach and play footy in the sand. mmmmm luca toni on the beach.
oh, ok. i'm back.
we all don't give a flying f*ck what the rubentus b*stardi are doing... at least the dropped points against the nazio b*stardi. i hope la befana brings di canio a truck load of bad shrimp for christmas.
the milan teams are determine to prove to us that they are still in the running for the title.
milan scored 4 past a pretty sorry messina and that was without maldini & nesta. sheva is scoring goals again and even gilardino can score when he is not too busy diving. those are the two who scored in the 3-0 win at livorno. what about poor bobo? well, at least he is having fun on the sidelines. *sniggers*
inter have their scoring boots on as well. a 4-0 against reggina followed up by a 4-1 over empoli. adriano is getting back in form (well, he's never been out of form in one sense but we won't digress) & then inter has subs that actually can come into a game and score (hello cruz & martins). makes ya wonder why they let bobo go to the other team in milan.

week 17 of the epl

all i want for christmas.... oh wait, i already got it. the double over the arse.
it wasn't pretty, we were lucky & they weren't, but hey, that's what being champions is all about. you have luck on your side. and you have talents like robben & joey cole. i honestly can't say enough good things about joey now. 2 years ago i couldn't stand him at all, thought he was nothing more than a show pony. but he really has worked hard & has become a great footballer. and i'm impressed. as long as we never see nor speak of that hairstyle he had awhile back.....
is it my imagination or is tottenham always involved in comebacks? at least this time it was in their favour again... well, they managed not to lose.
everton, however, did lose, again, and a 4-0 loss is not what the fans want to see right now. everton wasn't even playing that badly but their defense went to sleep for 5 minutes in the second half and bolton scored three goals. ouch.
but let's face it, they aren't even as pitiful as birmingham are right now. they went three goals down in the first half and if you didn't know the score and started watching from the second half kickoff, you would have never known. they had no spark, no desire, no nothing. 3-0 at half is not impossible, not by a long shot. go ask spurs, man city, inter. and it didn't help when the keeper got sent off because he handled outside the box..... d'oh.
and i can't forget to mention that the midget scored a hattrick.... yay midget! (that's for jt)
it does always surprise me when short little strikers manage to score off headers in the box. but good for him. i guess he got the bad shrimp out of his system. ;-)

20 December 2005

european cup draws

just a quick note on the european ties that we will be seeing in the coming months..... i hate to be ultra-cheesy but let's face it, there are some crackers here!
of course, the biggest & best of the bunch is the barca v chelsea tie. i also hate sounding like some kind of conspiracy nut but come on!! do we not find this even a teensy bit suspicious? how many anti-chelsea rants does uefa/fifa have to make for the rest of us to get their point? ok ok. you don't like chelsea. get the hell over it! i know i am slightly biased here (i can hear you now "slightly??!!??") but only the craziest of chelsea haters are not going to admit there are some big & more important problems facing modern football today than chelsea. i'd like to see fifa/uefa clean up the racism & sexism in the game and properly train all refs across the globe in the same stadard and then, if they have time, they can go back to chattering about chelsea. boo f*cking boo hoo.
back to the point.... the barca/chelsea games are going to be great. end of.
i'm pleased that lyon got a hopefully winable clash against psv; i really want the french boys to go all the way this year.
real madrid v arsenal should be fun. i would never write off madrid - no matter what kind of crisis they are going through. they still have the likes of zizou, ronaldo, robinho & casillas. and those boys alone should make titi & his oh la la boys quake in their continental boots.
juve and inter will be dissapointed if they do not win their ties against bremen & ajax. milan, on the other hand, will have quite a test against bayern. i hope the old folks home that is their defense can pull it together & sheva has one of his spectacular days. or maybe bobo can be the hero. ahahahahahahahahaha. *wipes tears from eyes*
rangers v villareal seems pretty well matched and i wouldn't take bets on who comes out of that on top.
and then there is the team that doesn't even deserve to be there in the first place so let's give them an easy ride to boost their already inflated egos liverpool. who are up against the mighty benfica. consider me a benfica supporter from now until my birthday (9 march, since you ask, and i just adore presents sent to the studio). in case you didn't know, the ties are 21/22 february & 7/8 march of 2006.

what i really want for my birthday is a win for roma against club brugge in the uefa cup. make that two wins, home and away, and then 2 more against the winner of stuttgart v middlesbrough match. come on roma, i know you are capable of this. we have the talent, the passion, the will. please just let it all come together at the same time for once. that's not too much to ask for, is it? i'd really enjoy that kind of extra special birthday giftie.

oh, and there are other games.....
the bolton v marseille match-up looks tasty as does the udinese v lens. we also have basel v monaco, lokomotiv moskva v sevilla, schalke v espanyol....... dare i say it but the uefa cup actually looks interesting!

13 December 2005

week 15 & 16 of epl

who would have predicted 2 losses for arsenal in these 2 weeks? i mean, yes, of course, i dream of weeks like this.... but damn. things not looking too great for a certain team in north london.
and i don't mean spurs who have 2 hard fought wins in these past 2 weeks. a 3-2 win against sunderland (nice carrick goal and even better sunderland freekick) and then a 3-1 win over portsmouth (ha ha). mido shaved for that game although he still needs a haircut. and oh. my. god. that stupid bell again! the pompey fan is an away game traveller! arrrghh!
chelsea win twice, each thanks to a jt header. i heart our captain.
liverpool, i hate to say, are still scoring goals & not conceeding any.... b*astards. at least there are hotties involved - it's always nice when either luis garcia or moro scores and they hug each other (see both the wigan game & against boro). and of course, the big news (hahaha, i'm soo funny) is that crouch finally scores - twice against wigan. i'm sorry but that was not an own goal. i give that to crouch.
manyoo wins against pompey but can only draw against everton. oh dear. do i hear the knives sharpening for sir alex?
and then there's the arse. oh dear oh dear oh dear. *sniggers*
first a pretty gutless display against bolton sees them go down 2-0 and then some bad luck/calls sees a 1-0 defeat at newcastle. where's titi's sparkle? maybe his head is already in spain....... oh and lehman is such a jerk. the biggest one on the team. and that's saying a lot!

week 14 & 15 of serie a

oh my. my luca toni (mmmmm luca toni) has now gone 2 games & no goals!!! it's his mini-slump! first, there was the game against the rubentusbastardi. poor toni almost scores.... everyone thought it was going in and it came off the post instead. damn. the fiorentina fans were having fun: there was a nice display of a giant yellow sun against a purple background, there were the chants of "juve juve vaffanculo", and then the flipping off of the juve supporters (they have supporters that actually go the games??). juve score, fiore equalized but then stupid camoranesi has to score the winner & celebrate with a stupid fake guitar solo. he only wishes he was as cool as a rockstar. as if. *snorts*
at least fiorentina won the next week but more bad news for luca toni (mmmmm luca toni). la viola get a penalty & toni's spotkick is saved! at least fiore had a nice header to win it.
oh roma roma roma. do i have tears left to cry? first we go up 2-0 against lecce and it looks like we could win a game! but no, we aren't playing that well even though cassano has a lovely chip for the opening goal. there's a handball in the box that should have been called for a penalty for us but that doesn't excuse our messy defense letting in the first goal. lecce's second, from a penalty that wasn't, doesn't even look like it's the end of it but somehow, we manage a draw. poor spalletti is having fits on the sidelines. it doesn't get any better for him the next week when we lose at home to palermo. the marking on the set pieces is craptastic and yet another cassano goal cannot save us. at least totti's haircut still looks hot.
so onto the milan clubs. one has lost 2 games, the other has won 2 games. can you guess which?
surprisingly enough, it ac milan who has lost 2 in a row. once to chievo and then once to their city rivals. inter, on the other hand, fought for a 1-0 against ascoli to prepare for the milan derby.
and what a derby it was! quite entertaining actually. as long as you are not a milan fan i suppose. sheva was the captain as maldini was sidelined (looking hot, i might say) & the inter fans (it was their "home" game) were really up for it. the kalaze/martins battle drew blood in the first few minutes (kalaze's face) and then martins causes trouble in the box & nesta goes down, gets a yellow and inter get a penalty kick! poor nesta looks confused. oh wait, that's his usual look.

anyway, milan get a penalty too (handball in box off a freekick) and we are all square. but dida, who usually never makes these kinds of mistakes, fumbles a freekick in the second half & martins scores the rebound. it's all quite back and forth action - stam scores a milan equalizer but it never looks finished and then adriano pops up in injury time, on a corner. that milan marking is simply not there and inter have their winner. the place goes WILD - adriano rips off his shirt (damn him for having a shirt on underneath) & mancini is jumping around like he won the scudetto. bless.

12 December 2005

week 17 & 18 of ligue 1

oh la la. 2 more games & two more losses for my little ajaccio. it seems like i say that every week. both of these were 1-0 so it would make all the difference in the world if we could just FREAKING SCORE A GOAL.
to be fair, we did score against troyes but it was unfairly called back. our finishing sucks- as witnessed here and against nice. we had a handful of fans who even travelled to that game. bless. at least we had some actual shots on goal for once. but that still doesn't change the fact that this was our 8th loss in a row.
losing is something lyon does not do. first they score twice against psg who never looked to be in the game. carew had a lovely goal, as did fred. but the next week, they are actually held to a draw at st. etienne. the fans for les verts were bouncy as usual & the shirtless gang was out in force even though it was obviously freezing. those are some tough boys. or they are drinking something special before/during the game. janot makes an excellent save from a juninho freekick & coupet makes an excellent save towards the end as well, so this ends 0-0.
the week before st. etienne lost to lens. perrin's goal for st. etienne was a cracker; he's quite a cutie and he's a born & bred st. etienne boy. bless. i don't think i have ever noticed how cute the lens keeper is either.
psg picked themselves up after the lyon game & won easily against rennes. 2 pauletta goals does the trick.
my auxerre are still up & down. they lose 1-0 against marseille but crushed nantes 4-0 the week before. my pieroni scores & it looks like he has had a recent haircut.... ah, even cuter than normal.
and finally, monaco take 4 points in 2 games to bounce back after the loss against marseille. modesto, the cutie, scores against le mans and almost manages to make it 2 in 2 games at nantes. it was so cold there that the boys on the bench were huddled under a blanket! they probably wanted to pull it over their heads when they saw adebayor have his penalty kick, and therefore the potential game winner, saved by the nantes keeper. ouch.

week 14 & 15 of la liga

i guess i should be pleased that my athletic bilbao has managed 2 points in 2 games..... while atletico madrid's same tally is just pitiful. the two met each other in week 14 & i am at least pleased that bilbao had plenty of chances... if only they could could score. it was a nice kezman goal for madrid; the bilbao defense was totally caught out. bilbao at least kept fighting & grabbed a goal in the dying seconds. that was after the drama in the box... not the usual kind either. this was a flare/firecracker thrown into the goal while a corner was happening - 2 players go down from the bang. it was quite scary but everyone was ok. which is more than i can say about madrid away kits: bright yellow & black is not a good look and it makes no sense with their normal colours. but really, is it as bad as yeste's hair? his tail is worse than vincente's!
madird then have another 1-1 with alavez. damn. have i never paid attention to alavez before?? the keeper is a hottie! but that didn't help him save a lovely torres goal. it's too bad that the madrid defense can't ever hold on to a lead and it ends all square. at least the madrid boys looked cute in their matching blue gloves & shorts. bless.
bilbao gave us an entertaining 1-1 draw with valencia the following week. they actually go ahead first - the surfer boys were a defensive mess for the freekick taken. but that was the high point for bilbao. tarantino is red-carded and they spend the rest of the game chasing valencia. it was only a matter of time before valencia scored. aimar had some pretty runs and it was off a freekick & an assist by aimar that vincente scores. david villa had a bit of handbags with a few different players but valencia never manage to get a winning goal.
at least valencia won the week before against espanyol. villa & aimar do combine to score in this one and that really was one hot celebration... although confusing when aimar rubbed villa's tummy. does villa have a bun in the oven? did aimar promise him an ice cream if he helped him score? i must know!!! please, oh please, vincente, take yourself & canizares to the hairdresser asap. thanks. x
what's barcelona doing? oh winning of course. nothing new there. against villareal they all wore tshirts with messages to xavi who is out for the season. that's so sweet. messi looks great again but motta & sorin seem to be battling for the title of worst. hair. evah. eeeeew. and did anyone know why there was a blue dinosaur hanging out before the match? villareal's mascot is a blue dino?
the nest week, there is sweetness again when ronaldinho's mum comes out to present him with the golden ball. aaawwww bless. so, of course, he had to score. it's nice to see rijkaard back after being out sick esp. as he is in the top 3 hottie managers.
and then there is the train wreck that is real madrid. you can't help but watch. it was 2 wins in these 2 weeks. the first undeserved, the second, under a new manager, they looked worth the win. against getafe, it was casillas keeping them in the game, again, and becks losing his temper and getting red carded, again. against malaga, zizou & robinho were on, casillas was on, and becks was out. it was a fantastic robinho goal and he really is a cutie. and did i imagine it or is zizou sporting awolfman type look in preparation for keane's arrival? we know keano will miss giggsy.

world cup draw

look at this....
not only am i catching up on my normal game blog, i'm adding a little extra. that's what happens when i do all my work weeks ahead of time so i can go watch football games over the holidays. until then, it's freetime galore which means i might actually keep up with my entries.
so on that note, let's have a few thoughts about the world cup draw.
first off, here in the states, and more importantly in los angeles, we could watch the draw live on the spanish channel where they showed all the pre-draw nonsense. that means i "enjoyed" the bleached-blonde feathered-haired tight-trousered magician, the song & dance by children & the giant lion mascot, the musicial stylings of superstar juanes (hey, don't laugh, i knew who he was; not saying i'm a fan...) & all those touching montages of past players & games. a spectacular show indeed.
but enough of that, let's get to kobi jones looking like an idiot. were you as worried as i was that he would drop one of the all-important balls like he dropped something from his lap when he was first introduced/called up to the stage?
ok, seriously, the draw itself. isn't it strange how exciting it can be to watch grown men stand around and draw little plastic balls out of giant bowls, hand them over, and watch another man open each one? now that i write it out, it seems vastly wrong that i spent my whole morning at work, sitting on the couch watching that rather than doing any actual work. or maybe i mean that is vastly right.

ok, ok. the groups:
A: germany, costa rica, poland, ecuador. yes, germany has got it easy. we will all have a right laugh at them if they do not top this group. but i think i am more concerned with the lack of hotties in this group. i do not think ballack can carry that flag all by his lonesome.
B: engalnd, sweden, paraguay, trinidad & tobago. england, with all of their boasting, better take the top spot here. i know sweden are good but if you are going to go on and on in all the papers about how you can win the world cup with all the amazing players you have...zzzzzzzzzz. oh sorry. dozed off there for a moment. i also see some nice thighs in this group.... terry, lamps, ibrahimovic, larsson, ljungberg, cole.... mmmm. yes, the sweden v england game will be entertaining for a variety of reason.
C: argentina, netherlands, serbia & montenegro, cote d'ivoire. ah yes, our first group of death. and let's just be real, this is a bad hair nightmare group. think of what kind of combinations we could get.... sorin v drogba alone should be enough to convince you that this is the group to watch & not just for the football.
D: mexico, iran, angola, portugal. a group in which it's time to show they're worth it. all have something to prove and i can only hope they manage better overall hair dos than group c. the mexico team usually keeps it short & simple compared to the south americans so there is hope.
E: italy, ghana, usa, czech republic. damn. another group of death but let's face it, a group of some hotties as well. as long as we discount nedved. think of toni, essien, bocanegra.... and really, is there anyone cute on the czech team? i remember talking about someone during the euros.... but when i think about it now, all i see is nedved. blegh. oh and if italy do not top this group & make my life easier, i'll fly over & pelt them with tomatoes myself.
F: brazil, croatia, australia, japan. it's all about second place here. i mean, we all know they are headed all the way so why give them such an easy group?? ok ok. it wasn't fixed... but sheesh. and not alot of cuteness here. what a dissappoint overall.
G: france, switzerland, korea republic, togo. i'd love to see the swiss & togo go on to the next stage.... is that just too bitchy? i will say the togo v france game will be nice to watch; those teams both run like gazelles. i will also enjoy the swiss & their pale hair versus the various dyed hairs of korea republic. it'll be the clean boys versus the rockers.
H: spain, ukraine, tunisia, saudi arabia. mmmmm. the hottest team in the tournament. all of my spanish hotties will be the eye candy... as long as no one does anything too crazy with his hair (yes, i am talking to you, torres). i am already laughing at the prospect of a dumb american announcer calling out the names during the ukraine v tunisia match... that will be highly entertaining.

did you really expect me to tell you something as boring as the two teams who will advance? give me more time and i'll tell you the top hotties to advance to the next round of hottness.....

11 December 2005

week 16 of ligue 1

some really good games in france this week & that doesn't even include the 1-1 draw between nice & lyon that everyone was celebrating. hey, even when lyon drop a couple of points, it's cause to celebrate.
first, we have an entertaining 1-1 draw between st. etienne & bordeaux. both teams are having excellent seasons so far and it shows. the players are up for it and the fans, well, the st. etienne fans always look up for anything. the display of the giant crest before the game starts is spectacular, only to be outdone by the shots of the shirtless boys in the stands. whatever that group is, i wanna become their friend. *ahem*
st. etienne give their fans something to celebrate by scoring first & the noise in the stadium is incredible. the players celebrate with cute little cheerleader-style leaps. bordeaux tie it up with a great goal but it looks to be st. etienne's day until a bordeaux defender hurts himself with a great save off the line. it only gets worse when darcheville (doesn't he have the best name in all of france??) gets a red card for kicking out at one of the st. etienne boys and this ends all square.
another great name, fabian cool, keeper for auxerre, has a good game and keeps a clean sheet in the le mans v auxerre match. my cutie pieroni scores a nice freekick. sometimes, picking your fantasy football players on looks alone works. i think i'll try picking the top 11 hotties next season and see how far that gets me.
marseille manage a win at home against monaco although their fans still seem less than pleased with their players. a ballboy almost gets yellow carded for being a little too enthusiastic & coming onto the pitch. bless.
my ajaccio lose again (big surprise) but i was entertained by the toulouse boys walking out onto the pitch, in their lavender kits, holding hands. *giggles* only in france. the corsicans have not scored in 5 weeks now. now that's depressing.
and finally, the match of the weekend turns out to be the psg v lens game - quite a goalfest. the psg fans give a nice display of the french flag before the real fireworks start. lens score within the opening minutes of the game but never fear, pauletta is here. he makes chipping the lens keeper look oh so easy. he actually does it twice in this game. too bad the psg defense can't hold things together. lens actually go up 4-1 at one point - the lens boys are so thrilled they perform cute little dances after goals 3 & 4 and the poor psg coach looks absolutely shellshocked on the bench. at least psg attempt a comeback but it's all too late in the end.

week 13 of serie a

roma v fiorentina
i know i have been waiting for this..... my cute roma defenders against luca toni (mmmm luca toni). yes, i've been worried. we haven't been playing well and toni is scoring left & right. but still, we all knew this was going to be good.
it starts really well for roma - tomassi & cassano both in the starting 11 and then they combine for tomassi to score in the 2nd minute. and then roma actually play some pretty football in the midfield and i am shocked. i will admit, i was already fretting, because we can never go ahead that early in a game and hold on to it but i was trying to be positive. i even feel like we have luck on our side when doni drops a shot but kuffour is there on the line to save what surely would have been a goal. yes, toni is trouble (the battle between him & mexes is all kinds of cute & they even start to get a little pushy with each other) but when he has a sure shot on goal & i know he's going to score, dacourt comes in with a perfectly timed tackle. he's taken off because of injury and my cutie aquilani comes on ( who seems to have taken after totti and got his hair cut too! it's darling!).
then, it all goes wrong. and not just a little wrong. this is roma so it has to go spectacularly wrong. my mexes, who was having an excellent game, gets a red card & fiorentina get a penalty. all undeserved. mexes looks to be in tears on the sideline and i'm right there with him. this is a typical day in the life of a roma supporter. toni, of course, takes the penalty & scores it and for once, i'm not pleased to see his goal tally rise. at least we still are fighting for a win as we are down to 10 men. you couldn't actually tell that they had one more player if you weren't told. and the other bright spot is that when cassano is subbed off, it is to applause rather than to the boos & whistles he received midweek in the uefa cup.
of course nothing else goes right in italy. lazio win, juvebastardi win. ibrahimovic is a major jerk & hits one of the treviso players in the head with the ball. and what exactly is alex del piero doing with his sideburns? they just look wrong.
milan manage a last second win via a pippo goal. it's just so cute when bobo runs over to hug him from the sidelines. it's not like he has anything better to do - he was warming up the whole second half and never came on.

week 13 of la liga

have i mentioned how scary good barcelona are right now? it's both beautiful & frightening to watch. at least the robot that is ronaldinho (if you are listening to the show, you get that joke) proves that he is human after all - he misses a penalty! *shock horror* he gets another chance, later in the game, and scores it, and he & messi & eto'o rip through santander's midfield & defense as if they are playing a youth squad. some amazing runs, some amazing goals from both eto'o & messi. *shivers* have i mentioned how scary good they are right now?
let's just use the word 'scary' for real madrid. if i was a madrid fan, i'd be scared of performances like the one against real sociedad. we could look at the bright side and say "well, they came back from 2-0 and managed a draw." and with the way they were playing, that is quite a feat. but really, it was pretty undeserved. they continue their red card madness (ramos again, becks almost) & zizou save them again but it's not looking good. unlike the real scoiedad boys, who do look good: prieto is a cutie.
then there are my cuties that are valencia. david villa scores again - he is darling - even if he won't shave off that stupid patch of hair from his chin. valencia had some great moves but some not-so-great finishing. luckily, it didn't hurt them and this was a relatively easy 2-0 win. and i didn't even mention how cute aimar was when he was finally subbed on in the second half! hot damn!
oh. my. god. did hell freeze over? because my bilbao finally won a game! their first since the first day of the season!! i'll take a hard fought 1-0, winning goal scored from a freekick. i'd take just about any kind of win right now.
and finally, my torres has gone missing again from the scoresheet and atletico madrid only manage a draw. they go ahead with a beautiful goal by luccan but then bad defending on a corner gives up the equalizer.

week 14 of the epl

all seems normal in england... chelsea win again, sunderland lose again, titi scores a nice goal and then acts like a jerk....
oh and everton remember what a win tastes like. although it's at the expense of a missed handball in favour of newcastle. poor newcastle. even their midget has been sidelined lately.
it's the joey cole show at the pompey v chelsea game. and if you weren't driven mad by the dinner bell (??) you would have seen a nice crespo goal too.
the new boys continue to impress (well, aren't we all impressed by the absolute awfulness of sunderland?) even though they all lose this week. wigan try to come back against spurs, who are notorious for losing their concentration towards the end of the game, but it is not to be. maybe they were distracted by tottenham's ugly away kits. and west ham get off to a great start against manyoo... scoring in the first few minutes. but manyoo, or should i say rooney, bounce back and win it.
liverpool grind out another one-nil win. at least it was a nice risse goal.
and finally, the arse entertain us for some pretty goals. i was also highly entertained by blackburn & their bruiser boys (hello savage!) trying to break spanish legs (poor reyes). titi had a good enough goal to thump his chest in celebration *rolls eyes* but really, van persie's goal was better.

10 December 2005

week 11 & 12 of serie a

oh roma roma roma. why do you tease me this way? why do you want to break my heart? why do you reduce me to tears?
i can't even bring myself to discuss that rubentusbastardi game. all i will say is that it started off well. for 30 minutes, i thought "wow, we are playing some good football." but then i realized we hadn't scored. and i started to get that feeling that if we didn't soon, they would, and then it would be all over. and we didn't, they did, it was.
at least totti's haircut put a smile on my face when i saw it the week before against messina. and he had a great goal. and my cutie mexes scores. ah bliss. if i could have only skipped the next week. :-(
at least my luca toni kept me happy. he did his usual looking hot while scoring against ascoli and then the real fun begins.... luca toni v maldini/nesta. now that's all kind of hotness right there. and boy did he kept that milan defense busy. 2 goals for toni while it took me a good 30 minutes or so before i noticed sheva was on the pitch. not a good sign for milan. kaka was either fouling people left & right or actually making some good runs that didn't end up as actual goals. milan were unlucky not to have a penalty for a handball in the box but what was nesta doing as he missed the cross for the second viola goal? not his day, not maldini's day, and certainly not milan's day. i enjoyed the camera shots of galliani & friends in the stands looking more and more upset as the game went on. hee hee hee.

week 11 & 12 of la liga

barca score 6 goals in 2 games against teams from the madrid area. first, they look scary good against getafe scoring some really nice goals. but the getafe goal was even better so good for them. and i am disturbed to think that motta might be taking hair tips from ronaldinho. but honestly, ronaldinho can do what he wants with his hair if he shows us spectacular play like he did against real madrid. even the madrid fans were standing & applauding. and how could they not? he ripped their midfield & defense apart. casillas couldn't even muster the energy to yell at his defense but he really should have - once again, casillas seemed to be the only one there.
poor madrid. raul was badly hurt in that loss as well. and no one cared that they managed a very unconvincing 1-0 win the week before.
week 11 gave us a basque derby which was full of cuties.... i was completely mesmerized when osasuna had a freekick and the real sociedad wall was unbelievably hot. the seville derby, the following week, was hot in an entirely different way. no love lost here. these fans were crazed to say the least. tackles everywhere, handbags thrown, and the sevilla boy who scored the winner rips off his shirt to celebrate. excellent. oh, except for the fact that he gets a second yellow later in the game and is sent off. doh.
stupidest. rule. evah.
and the surfer boys of spain, valencia, win one, lose one. i wish vincente would lose that stupid tail... what year is it anyway? that's not a hairstyle - it's a crime against nature. even refs know that - in the game against villareal, one of the yellow submarine boys got yellowed for a dive when he was looking for a freekick. his hair was awful so i bet the ref took one look at him and thought "ugh! yellow for bad hair!". vincente is lucky he didn't turn to him and card him for the same reason. i saw the fear in his eyes.

week 12 & 13 of the epl

well the big news is that chelsea finally lose, isn't it?
yup, in a great game against manyoo, my boys in blue go down 1-0. manyoo played a billion times better than what they showed against boro and chelsea weren't playing badly. it was just one of those days. as a matter of fact, we outplayed them for most of the second half and a "fair" (ahahahahahahaha) result would have been a draw.
see? even i know footy isn't "fair". and i'm not bitter nor worried about the loss. at least it takes the pressure off us now.
and we showed that by bouncing back against newcastle. 3 goals, some good team play, and all is well in jose's land again.
manyoo also got another win against charlton. horseface scores twice - one a really nice swivel & strikes inside the box. oh, don't pretend you don't know who i am talking about. and is it just me or do you think wes brown's hair scares small children?
liverpool continue winning and crouch continues NOT scoring. *muffles laughter* and moro continues to be a major hottie.
poor the spurs. first they were robbed against bolton for an offside goal that wasn't offside and then they let west ham equalize in the dying moments of this london derby. these boys need to learn how to finish their chances.
and finally, the arse, who win away from home against a very plucky wigan in a very good game. titi is his usual jackass - ridiculously arrogant celebration after his nice goal (it wasn't even as great a goal as what he scored against sunderland the week before). oh and before the wigan game there were some strange mascots out on the pitch: a yellow bear with a patch over one of his eyes and a blond "boy" in a wigan jersey. was the bear his friend? was he a one-eyed bear? did the "boy" do that to his eye?? i was very confused.

week 14 & 15 of ligue 1

everyone have been pretty inconsistent in france lately (barring lyon & ajaccio, in different ways, of course). take bordeaux who have been doing well of late. another win away from home against nice but then they manage to lose at home to an equally inconsistent psg. psg scored twice in that game - the first goals by psg at bordeaux in 6 years! and our cutie pauletta had a great goal, as usual.
marseille, too, lost at le mans but then managed a win at home against nancy. the first goal of that game was a beauty - assist with a backheel. i love cheeky backheels. and player of the month, ribery, scored a beautiful goal. he really is the "it" boy in france right now.... expect those chelsea bid rumours to start flying.
the hotties that are auxerre are still doing well. they drew away to st. etienne and then won 3-2 against lille in a great game. my personal top hottie, pieroni, was star of the show. he had a fabulous assist for the first goal, scored the second via a penalty and then seals a hattrick (of sorts) with a nice goal.
nothing or no one seems able to stop lyon. they win away at toulouse and then cris scores twice against troyes to continue their outstanding form. when your defenders are scoring for fun, you know you are doing well.
i would take anyone scoring for my little ajaccio at this point. we can barely manage shots on goal anymore. 2 more games, 2 more losses. *sigh*


yet again, i have been slacking. honestly, there is no good excuse unless you count sex, drugs, & rock'n'roll.
or something like that.

03 November 2005

week 10 of la liga

wow. my bilbao managed a point! that's great considering we are still at the bottom of the table.... i'll take what i can get right now!
while barca go on a scoring streak and put 5 past real sociedad.

real betis v real madrid
really nice robinho goal - and he's really cute so that's always a plus. as long as he stays out of ronaldo's stupid goal celebrations, he'll be fine. oh and if he's spending all his time with ronaldo, he really shouldn't eat as much as that fat b*stard is eating...

valencia v racing santander
the goal by the valencia captain - albelda - was amazing. the little patch of hair on cutie david villa's chin, amazingly stupid. why would you ruin such a cute face?

atletico madrid v villareal
wow. worst mullet in awhile alert: rodrigues, who gets red carded. for his mullet i would think. (i'd like to see that written, just once, on the official match report by the ref) madrid spend most of the 2nd hlaf with a man advantage and still can't score - instead they pick up a red card of their own and villareal manage to equalize. typical.

week 9 & 10 of serie a

holy crap. are roma having a winning streak??? 3 wins in a row - one in europe - and we are suddenly in the top half of the table and better yet, WE ARE AHEAD OF LAZIO!!! let me enjoy it while it lasts....
let's revel in the win against inter.... at the freakin san siro!!! the stadium that had a hex on us for so long and we made it look so easy... at first. of course, once we were 3-0 up, we looked like we could fall apart at any moment, but hey, that's roma. let me bask in the montella goal opening the scoring and then that incredible totti run that was sealed with a cute little chip over the keeper to make it 2-0. and then as soon as the second half begins, il capitano steps up & scores a penalty. yes, he was red carded in the dying moments of the game but hey, what's a roma trip to the san siro without a red card for totti?
but we don't stop with the red cards there. my cutie chivu manages to get one at home against ascoli, and then they equalize but then a miracle happens.... mexes comes on for chivu and instead of immediately getting a red card himself, he scores! yes, i thought my eyes were playing tricks on me too.

did someone say luca toni? mmmmm luca toni. i just noticed, looking at the stats, that fiorentina have not scored in 2 of their 10 games. all other 8 games, toni has scored. that's amazing. he has 12 goals in 8 games essentially. and he's hot. no, make that really really hot.

speaking of nice goals.... did you see the 2 fantastic goals by ex-roma boy d'agostino? those were absolutely amazing. i'm glad to see he is getting the playing time & his game is improving. maybe we'll see him again at roma one day.

the big game: milan v juve
for once, i am cheering on milan. and for once, milan do not disappoint me. they not only beat juve, they did it by playing so much better than the b*stards and making their much vaulted defense look like a shambles. everyone was on: gattuso ran around like a madman, seedorf scores a nice (deflected) goal, pirlo has a great freekick and nesta swings his arm cast towards ibrahimovic anytime he gets near the juve goal. perfect!

week 11 of the epl

chelsea v blackburn
wow - i think cech is actually having a bit of a bobble! 3 goals conceeded in 2 games??!! i'm shocked! at least chelsea are being "entertaining" by letting in goals and still scoring & winning in the end.... if you didn't get my intention there, that was a very sarcastic use of quotation marks.
was it my imagination or was it everytime that i saw a blackburn player on camera, he was swearing up a storm? and then mark hughes gets sent to the stands for protesting a little too much..... or maybe he was swearing.
anyway, frankie has a great game & scores a beauty of a freekick so i am pleased overall.

north london derby:
spurs won the first half, the arse the second so a 1-1 is fair. but it doesn't make up for the fact that spurs could have wrapped this up in the first 45 if they could have finished their chances. and, of course, it has to be that tw*t pires who scores... and WHY isn't there a public outcry against his "shhhhing" celebration like there was against frankie?? b*stards. and that goes double for lehman who is a bigger diver than half his team, which says a whole hell of a lot when you are talking about the olympic diving team that is the arse.

but the most entertaining game, for all non-manyoo fans, was the middlesbrough v manyoo match. i honestly can't remember the last time i have seen manyoo play this badly. boro simply dominated the game & mendieta had some fantastic goals. rio was an absolute mess & maybe alan smith lost all his talent when he shaved his head. when sir alex told him he was going to be the new "roy keane" i think alan took that a bit too literal. he could just join the richardson & ronaldo club and go short and curly. they could all go to the salon together and gossip about the nevillers & rio. it'd be super!

big sam fashion watch: an understated brown & cream look this week.

week 8 & 9 of la liga

tough two games for real madrid who were looking good previously..... first they lose against valencia where just about everything that could go wrong, did. zizou missed a penalty, gravesen got a red for a terrible tackle, & then becks gets red carded for SARCASTIC CLAPPING of all things. what. an. idiot.
it doesn't get any better with all their suspensions & injuries against deportivo who completely outplayed the madrid boys and were 2-0 up by the half. goal # 3 was yet another example of madrid's defense not marking & losing track of the attacking players - just ask becks who was seen on the bench shaking his head in despair. the only positive: a beautiful raul goal (who just gets hotter by the day).

my bilbao lose twice - once in a basque derby against osasuna (on the top of the table but beaten by barca the week before) - and are bottom of the table.
no goals from torres but atletico madrid will take the 2 wins anyway.
and barca keep on winning - once against bilbao as already mentioned, and another against malaga. it's nice to see larsson back & scoring again.

week 12 & 13 of ligue 1

for all the talk of chelsea & juve's domination in their respective leagues, the real run away leader for me is lyon. 13 games and still not a loss and never really looking too troubled. take the metz game, a 4-0 demolition away from home. the type of game that once one goal was scored, you knew there were going to be loads more. the metz boys looked so depressed at halftime that i am absolutely amazed that they came back out for the second half.the best of this bunch was a wiltord header.

psg manage a laboured win against nancy & then lose 2-0 to auxerre. they never looked in that game and then my cutie pieroni comes on and seals it.

saint-etienne continue their good form with two wins - one a very impressive win against a resurgent marseille. that was a terrific game all around: fans going wild, marseille taking the lead but the home team taking control and scoring some nice goals. barthez was acting like his usual insane self but the real highlight was the camera showing a section of st. etienne supporters: all young fit shirtless men. i suddenly think i need to go to a st. etienne home game. *must practice my french*

bordeaux are also still looking good - currently second in the table -with a draw & a win while monaco are still swinging from loss (against sochaux) to a win (against my little corsicans).

let's quickly talk about how pitiful my ajaccio have become. after a brilliant start to the season, we've had 4 losses in a row, haven't won since september, and have had one shot on goal via a freekick in the last two games. if that's not relegation form, then i don't know what is. *cries*

week 10 of the epl

everton v chelsea
ooooooh, everyone must be so excited! it's a chelsea blip! they dropped points!!!
yeah yeah. i knew we wouldn't go the whole season only winning games.... even the fanf*ckingtabulous arsenal squad of divers & cheats went on their unbeaten streak with quite a few undeserved draws. but the criticism is always so much more virulent when it comes to chelsea.
i will say it was a tough game - everton did the blackburn tactic of loads of physical play and it worked against us. just look at poor jt's nose for proof of that. at least my frankie got us a point with a beauty of a goal. wasn't he the one who was supposed to be having some kind of blip? you're havin' a laff.

arsenal v man city
but who cares about chelsea when you get the high-quality entertainment from the arse this week? step right up & see the pires & titi farce! one night only because wegner will probably kill them if they try this crap again. the true laughing point was the overall pitiful performance by the gunners.

newcastle v sunderland
but the real game of the weekend was the derby between newcastle & sunderland. any game that gives you 4 goals in 7 minutes deserves the term "cracker" or something like that. it was also the usual derby atmosphere of fouls & tackles & pushes & nasty looks but there were some really lovely goals to take your mind off all that like the ameobi headers and the elliott goal.

bolton v west brom
big sam fashion watch: he was enjoying the game in an excellent pinstripe suit with a diagonal striped tie in grey, gold and red. and why wouldn't he enjoy this 2-0 win that could have easily gone the other way when west brom won a penalty & scored it but had to retake it and the poor boy missed the second one.

week 7 & 8 of serie a

roma crisis?
well, technically yes since we managed to lose to 10 men Empoli but we at least pick ourselves up for the all important derby. we don't win but it's certainly a better showing from the boys than any other showing of late - including a nice display of sparklers by the romanistas. not that i'm biased but there were certainly some yellow cards not dished out to lazio that really should have been. if only because they are b*stards. and nonda needs to learn to hit the target please & thank you.
totti shows up, has a lovely goal, and then gives us one of the most talked about celebrations evah with his "i'm pregnant with a ball and let me pop it out right here on the running track" show. niiiiiice.

my lovely luca toni (mmmmm luca toni) doesn't manage to score against the naziob*stards but he makes up for it with a hattrick against parma. it was absolutely criminal that he did not get stripped naked for that! where do i start my protest?!!?! oh, and fiore had a nice goal in that game as well. if it wasn't for the fact that luca toni is on fire right now, and so damn hot (mmmm luca toni), fiore would be heralded as the hero of this team.

milan & juve both manage wins to set up their upcoming match as does inter - one of those wins being a 5-0 drumming of livorno. livorno was a shambles without their captain and didn't receive any help when coco was red carded.

20 October 2005

week 7 of la liga

madrid derby
ok, i know that atletico madrid fans have a reputation to match that of lazio's but i heart torres so i gotta cheer him on. esp as it's his life ambition to score against real madrid as a born & bred atletico boy. he didn't score this time & i really think, when he finally does do it, he'll break down in tears. bless.
he might have been in tears anyway, after this game. atletico go a man and a goal down by the 8th minute of the game and it doesn't get any better for them. could it be that all of real's whingeing & crying about the ref on THEIR WEBSITE before the game actually made a difference?? let's just say: BABIES. wah wah wah. even with a man advantage, real couldn't stop atletico ripping through their midfield.... but then it did show when there weren't enough bodies to break down the defense once they got near the penalty box. oh well. and will i even complain about the foul not called in favour of atletico in the dying minutes of the game & how real went and scored the third on the counter? HELL YES.
and wow. guti out-blonds beckham, doesn't he? do you think there are jealous glances in the dressing room?

deportivo v barcelona
aah diego tristan. i knew you were not the brightest bulb on the tree when i first noticed the "9" shaved onto your head but then, you prove my point even further by being petulant and kicking the ball away after a call you did not like and having said ball actually hit the assistant ref. yellow card much?
great game overall - some really nice goals from deportivo who manage to come back for the draw. the penalty by deco was a freakin joke - the keeper gets that ball as deco theatrically dives over. and is it my imagination or does time STOP when ronaldinho has the ball? no one seems to move and it's as if we've suddenly gone all slo-mo while he performs some mind-blowing fake-out on the defenders....... let's just say i'm a fan.

other notes: oh, athletic bilbao: so many chances, so few goals. i get enough of this heartache from the french & italian leagues, i do not need it from my basque boys too! i fear this will be a very long season indeed; wow. did you notice the glow-in-the-dark away kits from cadiz: all neon green & black?? i did & now i'm BLIND!; while over in valencia i only wish i was after seeing canizares's hair! note: a bleached blond mullet is NEVER the answer. NEVER! and for anyone who also follows MLS: don't you think that canizares is kevin hartman's prettier, thinner twin? oh my god! they could totally do a patty duke remake!! brilliant!

18 October 2005

week 11 of ligue 1

marseille v psg
all kinds of craziness on the south coast for the biggest rivalry in france. accusations of 'chemical warfare' being waged on psg before the game even begins (complaints of an overpowering smell of ammonia) and of marseille officals insulting the psg players add spice to an already heated affair. oh! and look at that, barthez is back, ready with his usual madness.... at least there was only one psg player who said he deliberately tried to injure him.
did anyone else notice that the teams came out to van halen's jump? and we have a new skunk boy! marseille's number 22, samir nasri, has the same haircut but not the same stark colour contrast....... yet.
a former psg boy scores the one and only goal to win this game for marseille for the first time in 3 years against the capital club.

great game, great atmosphere, even if the home fans were a bit naughty by raining down objects onto rothen every time he takes a corner. it must be that terrible blond hairstyle they object to so much.

lyon v ajaccio
my little corsicans were robbed!! robbed i tell ya!! there was that first goal that fred scored where the assistant ref had raised his offside flag, but the ref decided to give it to lyon anyway. there was all the little kicks and fouls that lyon were allowed to get away with (ok, they got a few yellow cards but come on! they were kicking the crap out of the corsicans!). and then there was the winner that ajaccio scored, after coming back TWICE, and were fouled in the box but still the goal doesn't count because of an accidental hand ball in the box when the attacker was pushed down by all the lyon bullies.
*grumbles* stupid league leaders. i will concede that juninho had his usual lovely freekick goal.

nantes v st. etienne
a nice chip from the nantes boy over the usually fantastic (and fantastically weird) st. etienne keeper janot. i will praise him even with that idiotic tattoo on the back of his head. oh and nantes got lucky as they had a handball/penalty not called against them. at least they are one place ahead of ajaccio in the table (15th).

auxerre v troyes
luyindula had a nice nice goal and he is a cutie... and he used to have terrible hair but got a nice trim. he should really call drogba and give him a heads up. my cutie pieroni doesn't get to come off the bench until the very end of the game. *sigh*
but i do find another monster on the pitch: check out the medusa wannabe #29 sajma. you'll see what i mean when you see the snakes in his hair.

week 9 of the epl

lots of fun this week, lots of talking points......

chelsea v bolton
ok, let's get it out of the way. yes, it should have been a red card. fine. and that could have changed the game, yes. or, jose in his infinite wisdom, still would have made the necessary tactical changes and won this game. maybe not by the same scoreline.
chelsea show they are vulnerable again by giving up a goal in the 4th minute (!): jt needed to be more central, especially when del horno is missing that pass. bolton gave chelsea a good game in the first half and probably were quite happy at halftime..... little did they know jose was already drawing diagrams on the board. a tactical change and suddenly, it's a different game. and that's even before the handball & red card for cutie gardner. and i can't even begin to explain how pleased am i with the new & improved drogba - that backheel to frankie was lovely and his 2nd goal was even lovelier. oh and frankie is so much cuter with his spikey hair grown back.
big sam fashion watch: nice brown shirt with tan stripey tie. very smart.

birmingham derby
no goalkeeping gaff?? villa wins?? where the hell am i? i thought this was birmingham v villa?

at least we had o'leary spicing things up at the end with his 'celebrations'. the winning goal from phillips was nice too.

spurs v everton
i heart television. before the game begins, the camera is on simon davis (since he made the move from spurs to everton over the summer) and it catches him accidentally squirting water in his eye. priceless.
poor toffees. what happened to that solid defense? they let two goals in both from headers, nices ones from mido and jenas (both cuties too!). tsk tsk.

wigan v newcastle
i officially declare newcastle to be the inter of england: lots of bad/thinning hair and no cuties. blegh. too bad they can't win some games like inter but they certainly have the same luck - shearer's header was so a goal that crosssed the line.

west brom v the arse
hee hee hee.
wow. not the best start to the season for the gunners, eh? kirkland had one of those fantastic games, the ex-arse player kanu scores against his old team and carter scores a cracker to win it for the minnows! i didn't even mention flamini's horrible horrible sideburns! yuck!

liverpool v blackburn
so this is where chelsea's red card got missplaced! although they usually deserve their red cards, i think rovers were unlucky here. and we were all unlucky to *ahem* enjoy cisse's latest hairstyle. it's true that it's not as bad as some of his past ones but this one makes him look about 10 years older than he actually is. not flattering at all. but pretty boy moro is back & has a nice bobo-like miss so at least cisse has that on him.

sunderland v manyoo
sunderland didn't play all that bad and elliot's goal was a beauty but manyoo was a little too much for them. cute little italian-american rossi scores on his debut and i really am starting to rate park as the stand-out player for the red devils. the criticism of him being simply an asian marketing tool seems off the mark to me.

other notes: 2 beautiful goals in the latest london derby (charlton v fulham), nice goal from andy cole for man city (his 1st of 2 goals), & portsmouth manage not to lose.

09 October 2005

week 9 & 10 of ligue 1

well, at least i only have to mention one loss from my corsican boys. to bordeaux since their game against lens was postponed. that still does not leesen the blow to the fact that they are in 15th place!!! *sigh* i am not ready for a relegation fight this early in the season.

lyon continue to be the only unbeaten side in france with wins over nantes and rennes. it's the usual suspects including juninho and wiltord. and i am happy to report that it looks like coupet is growing out those awful highlights.

monaco continue to pick themselves up after their crappy start to the season with 4 points from 2 games sees them almost to the top half of the table (11th). modesto is finding his form again (and still is a hottie) and oh, maoulida is a cutie too, isn't he? very tall.

auxerre are still trying to find some consistency - they win 3-0 against sochaux but then lose 2-0 to toulouse. yes, they are 5th in the table but with a goal differnce of -4! and my cutie pieroni hasn't scored in ages! and it didn't help to have fabian cool injured in the last game. bless.

week 6 of la liga

malaga v atletico madrid
an action packed game for my torres: he misses an open goal in the first half, wins a dodgy penalty (even he looked surprised when the ref called it), and after scoring it, taunts the malaga fans with a tongue out, fingers in the ears celebration. the fans reply by throwing whatever they can get their hands on at torres to complete the lunacy.

barca v real zaragoza
has anyone else thought that the barcelona song sounds like something from the old willy wonka film? just me then.
wow. are barca having a difficult start to the season? they go down 2-0 here but manage to come back for a draw. i guess that is a sign of a champion: even when they aren't playing their best, they manage a point. it also helped that zaragoza went down a man.

oh and did you see xavi in the stands?? he was wearing an absolutely horrid plaid shirt and his hair was very jamie parkerish (for those of you who wacth dream team).

getafe v valencia
mista's awful hair is the least of valencia's worries: david villa, my latest spanish cutie, scores again but that's the high point for him as he later finds himself in a fight and gets red carded and getafe manage to scalp one of the big boys in the climb to the top

villareal v athletic bilbao
bless. my little basque boys go one-nil up but then a red card pretty much seals their fate, villa's 3rd g0al from senna was a beauty

real madrid v mallorca
wow. and i'm not wowing another solid win from the madrid boys. i'm wowing the weirdness that is the brazil contingent. ronaldo scores (nice goal too) and they do the bunny hop. roberto carlos scores (again, the first one was lovely) and they play leap frog.
wow. these men are bored.
oh and note to beckham: please do something about your hair. you have bleached it one too many times and it is fried. just cut it. it will help. i swear.

week 6 of serie a

roma v siena
another loss at home. another game of wasted chances, almost goals, nice moves that end in nothing and ridiculous defending. *sigh*
at least taddei's goal was nice........ look at that! that's me looking on the bright side.

juve v inter
i hate juve. i hate them i hate them i hate them.
this inter seems to be vintage inter - all fouls & kicks. needless to say i was not surprised that both juve goals came from freekicks. and materazzi was vintage materazzi: brute force & terrible tackles. can mancini really perform magic on this bunch?

fiorentina v livorno
oooh tuscan derby! that means luca toni!! mmmmm luca toni. and he was wet (there was a downpour!). mmmm luca toni wet.
it was a typical derby: lots of little fouls, talking back to each other, fan abuse & cheers, and an unnecessary red card! poor lucarelli getting sent off because of dissent. now that's harsh.
there was also a great almost-comeback from 10 man livorno - they manage 2 goals in 2 minutes but it wasn't quite enough.

milan v reggina
those squeals of delight are from jenny as she celebrates not 1 but 2 goals from 37 year old defender paolo maldini. not only does he score really nice goals that gilardino would have given anything to score, but paolo looks damn hot while doing so. oh and bobo has like a million chances and misses them all. typical.

02 October 2005

week 5 of serie a & la liga

things a bit more interesting over in spain than in italy...

italy sees the big three win - milan easily over treviso, inter with a 1-0 over a scrappy & tough fiorentina (toni looked yummy, as usual, mmmmm luca toni), and juve comeback after going a goal down to parma to win 2-1. and i have to say, as nice as his thighs are, ibrahimovic is a prat.
and my roma can only manage a 0-0 draw against cagliari. once again, they don't play badly, they just can't finish their chances. and that is a lot more frustrating in my opinion. oh, and aquilani, while i know totti is probably one of your all-time heroes as a romanista, please do not grow your hair out to be just like his.

while over in spain, we get High Entertainment whether it's an action packed game from barca or strange celebration from madrid.
or fanciful hair as in the espanyol v villareal game. luis garcia has what i can only describe as pure danny zucco on top/front and then a bad 80s tail in the back. now that's entertaining in a laughing at him sort of way.
there were cuties to entertain me in the valencia v real sociedad game: both goalscorers for valencia (aimar & villa) fit that description.
betis v barca: in the first 20 minutes we get a missed penalty from eto'o, a betis goal, then a betis red card - for the ever-popular sarcastic clapping at a ref. barca use that man advantage in the second half to win this easily 4-1.
alaves v real madrid: can we start having red cards for just plain bad goal celebrations? like the weird dying bug display from ronaldo & robinho. nice goals and all but dumb dumb celebrations. and ronaldo, we do call you a fat b*stard so how do you think your thighs look when you are on your back, flinging your legs around in the air, the flab flapping in the wind?
ewwww, i think i just grossed myself out with that imagery.

week 7 & 8 of the epl

let's talk promoted teams:
i would have said west ham is the best of the bunch but look who is the highest amongst the three...... WIGAN???
up, wigan. a win over everton and then even a bigger win over bolton see wigan climb to 8th(!!!) with 4 wins. that's mighty impressive.

but i think west ham have been playing the best football out of all three; they gave the arse a good game and look able to beat anyone with the right motivation and spirit.
but let's face it, sunderland actually finally winning a game is the surprise of the bunch. i was almost willing to bet they'd go another 20-odd games without a win in the top flight. but they beat middlesbrough with 2 lovely goals and then follow that up with an almost win against west ham.... once again, their lack of 100% concentration for the full 90 minutes makes them pay.

bolton & big sam are still in the top 6 of the table. yes, they lost against wigan but the week before saw a lovely goal from nolan to beat portsmouth 1-0. entertaining over all - especially with big sam freaking out on the sidelines and perrin doing the now infamous "sarcastic applause" towards the referee and getting sent to the stands for it.

oh, champions of europe, how i mock thee.
no, no more poetry at the moment but let's say i've enjoyed the pool's last two games. first we get a 2-2 draw against birmingham (complete with an own goal & their first goal from open play). then, it gets better. yes, they manage to score another goal from open play but that's all they can muster against my boys in blue. i hope those scousers in the stands holding their paper CL trophies were force fed them after this goal fest by chelsea all courtesy of drogba, the star of the show. he won the penalty that super frank scored and then assisted the goals by duff, joey cole and geremi. not bad for a day's work, eh? now only if he could get a haircut.......
but all chelsea haters can take to heart the fact that both luke moore of villa and stevie g showed that there are moments of sloppy defending that the opposition can take advantage of and it's not impossible to win an "unwinable" game.
just ask wigan, west ham & sunderland.

the best game of week 8 was the london derby between charlton and spurs. the fans were certainly enjoying it - i could heard some, ahem, interesting chants from the stands ("wanker wanker!!" & "who the f*cking hell are you?" were 2 of my personal favs). and spurs on the winning end of a great comeback?? wow, that's new. the tottenham defense goes to sleep for the charlton goals and are suddenly down 2-0 but then they wake up. mido, who looked much better with shorter hair, does some great work in this game and has an awfully nice goal to show for it. and robbie keane comes off the bench, yet again, to score and do some fancy flips. but did anyone else notice him teasing the ref with that point at the shirt then flick yer face bit of slapstick humour??? maybe he was having too much fun out there.

25 September 2005

week 3 & 4 of la liga

really, is there anything we want to talk about other than real?
real madrid of course. first, they lose, yet again, this time to espanyol. yes, it was another strange/controversial goal - was there a whistle? does it matter? - and 2 red cards. but that was only the preview for the real fun midweek. hurrah! woodgate is alive & is actually starting a game! booooo! he manages not only an own goal but also a red card on his debut! hurrah!

also of note......
my torres is scoring again... sometimes for a win (against barca no less) and sometimes in defeat (against real sociedad after having a 2-0 lead for almost an hour).

two 2-2 draws for valencia - one in an action packed game against deportivo (lots of nastiness, fouls, red cards & spitting in this one!) and another against barca in midweek. david villa is not only a cutie, but also on a bit of a scoring streak - he was responsible for 3 of those 4 goals.

and my bilbao has 2 defeats to see them drop into the bottom half of the table.

but the big surprise is looking at the top of the table....celta & getafe??? yay for the underdogs!

23 September 2005

week 6 of the epl

in haiku form:

a crespo header
as swift as a hunting hawk
robben's quick winner

he's back from the dead
two goals from his head so high
poor the sad toffees

sleep, sleep, sleep soundly
as the game goes on you sleep
and roy breaks his foot

city tries and tries
but lady luck is not there
handball for big sam

oh the spurs we jest
eight in the midfield packed full
without rippling nets

22 September 2005

week 7 & 8 of ligue 1

awww our first loss of the season! and against auxerre who have been having a torrid time of late! and we even scored first and it was called back for ABSOLUTELY NO REASON. b*stards.
and my cutie pieroni has a bobo-like miss. bless his cute little head. we at least bounce back with a point in midweek and are still in the top half of the table. if we can remain there until christmas, i'd be amazed and ecstatic.

st. etienne
they may have had a great 3-0 win over psg at the weekend but then they also lose for their first time at midweek against nancy!! nancy who are in 18th place! and it breaks their run of 1534 minutes of not conceeding a goal at home. damn. no wonder janot is my french fantasy league keeper. what happened to that brilliant backline we saw against psg??

lyon & psg
so that leaves lyon as the only unbeaten team in france but these past two games have only been draws while psg at least have a win and a loss and are now 2 points behind lyon in the table. and how cute is landrin (psg) with his spikey hair lately? lyon should consider themselves lucky after that bordeaux game: 2 handballs in the box that were not called against lyon and their defense looked shakier than it has been all season.

poor poor monaco. they lose over the weekend and then deschamps quits which throws everything into chaos. all the credit in the world to them for managing a win in midweek. the game against nice this coming weekend should help them continue rebuilding. you just hate to see prince albert looking all unhappy in the stands, now don't you?

week 3 & 4 of serie a

roma roma roma
at least it was a point against livorno & there were some fancy totti moves that i just love to watch. and then it gets better at home against parma! nonda scores twice and pannucci & totti make it a proper rout. have i mentioned how much i love the youngsters lately? curci, bovo, rosi, aquilani.... add in veteran de rossi at the ripe old age of 22 and this is a team that can become something to cheer about for years to come.

a crisis this early in the season??? milan lose to sampdoria (and the only goal they manage to score was actually offside) but then get it together enough to beat lazio. ahaahahahahahaa. sheva had a very nice goal. no paolo on the pitch but we get to see him watching from the stands and even celebrating the goals. ah bless.
and damn, he's hot.

but not as hot as luca toni (for me, at least). he scores twice against udinese and has an assist for fiore and then scores again against lecce. his thighs are really really lovely.
no, really. he's so freaking tall!
oh and lecce were awfully cute when they scored and then all ran to hug the coach. how often do you see that?

mmm. cruz all wet and with his shirt off is not a bad sight. trust me. 2 wins in these 2 games - nothing spectacular, but 6 points will keep the grumbling at bay for now.

21 September 2005

week 4 of serie a

(week 3 will come soon.... promise. x)

didn't i say on the show that i was going to be positive and that we always do well at home against parma??

who scored again? oh yes, luca toni. mmmmmm luca toni.

and to top off the happines...... lazio lost. and roma are ahead of both milan & lazio in the table.

15 September 2005

week 2 of La liga

deportivo v atletico madrid
diego tristan, did you really shave a number 9 onto your head? why would you ever think that was a good idea? we can already see that you are number 9 from your jersey.
madrid were robbed! that depor goal at the end came in the 94:36 minute of 4 minues extra time (see the problem there?) and a depor player took out one of the madrid defenders in the box during the corner kick. i call foul.

real madrid v celta de vigo
speaking of foul....... both madrid sides were hard done by this past weekend. in a reverse of the famous spurs goal last season, celta score a goal that didn't go over the line. no complaints on the first goal - that was just the fault of the usual terrible madrid defending. once again, casillas does more than his fair share of defensive duties and makes a fantastic save on a celta penalty but couldn't get the rebound.

barcalona v mallorca
bad week for mallorca. no nonsense barca win this one with all kinds of nonsense from mallorca: 2 red cards for them and one of the boys dares to slap puyol in the face before making his way off! even though his hair is way too big, that's no reason to slap him!

week 2 of Serie A

roma v udinese
it was just one of those days. we didn't play badly, we just didn't have luck on our side. totti alone had 2 chances in the box that should have been goals that somehow he missed. oh, and cassano comes in & shows off his football talent to distract us from his toublemaking talents. i would be less depressed if it wasn't our first home game that we lost.
at least the new ball was flashy.

messina v fiorentina
have i mentioned luca toni lately? how pretty he is? how he's been in great form lately? oh yeah, and then there is the footballing aspect........
oh, where was i? yes, toni. who scored again and had other chances and set up fiore for what would have been a lovely goal. fiorentina were cruising 2-0 and then they just seemed to lose focus and let messina back in the game. maybe they were frightened by messina's keeper. did you see his hair??? that will be give me nightmares for weeks!

palermo v inter
great freakin game from palermo - the fans were lovin it! seeing a game like this makes me want to go live in palermo & have a season ticket. bonus: the cute pink shirts
inter are a mess in the back without zanetti & adriano is anonymous so it's not that big of a surprise when palermo are up 3-0. the surprise was that inter did not manage one of their famous comebacks for a draw. good for palermo. and santana is kinda cute.

13 September 2005

week 6 of ligue 1

marseille finally win, auxerre continues to lose & the same three teams continue to be unbeaten... st. etienne and....

ajaccio v nancy
another win for the corsicans! my haze of incredulous happiness continues. a nice header from lucas (who will be snapped up by a bigger club next season) seals the second win of the season for ajaccio. they still need to finish more of their chances but i won't start complaining yet.

lyon v monaco
the lyon fans welcome new boy fred with a lovely display of a giant brasilian flag. fred is so touched that he scores twice: in the fitst 5 minutes or so of each half. now that's the way to endear yourself to the fans. oh, and monaco, was buttercup the colour you were going for with the new away kit? pale gold? i think non. at least dechamps looked smart in his cute little monaco polo as his team was losing.

week 5 of the EPL

middlesbrough v arsenal
wow. lots of hair issues during this match. first and foremost: why is there a muppet on the head of xavier? and i think a few of the arsenal boys went to the barbershop before this game and had a trim. does your contract with l'oreal allow that robert? and hey, who knew queudrue was cute underneath that horrible hair! see what good hair v bad hair can do to a boy? anyway, a performance that gunner fans will want to forget: all flash, no results. there was a definite struggle to make anything happen near the box without their dear titi. what a shame..... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
*wipes tears of laughter from eyes*

tottenham v liverpool
an actual entertaining 0-0: end to end play, lots of shots, disallowed goals for both sides and the real star of the show: cisse's hair. what exactly is that on top of his head? bird droppings? and why is it on his chin as well?

newcastle v fulham
mickey owen's first outing. and the midget doesn't score.
*checks william hill* what are those odds on souness being the first manager to be scaked this season?


italy: scotland almost shocked italy by leading for an hour but grosso saved azzurri blushes. we almost answer the burning question: how many glaring misses can bobo have in one game??? luckily, the italians woke up & my new imaginary boyfriend Toni scored a hattrick against Belarus. mmmmmmm Luca Toni.

england: after doing the bare mininmum against wales (deflected joey cole goal/almost own goal) things get worse for england: they lose to northern ireland. (yes, you hear the cheers of the scots after their draw against the italians and their WIN AWAY at norway and then this delightful defeat). the press are baying for sven's head and no one fails to miss hothead rooney's reaction (he even has to be calmed down during the game). oh, it gets worse. apparently things are so happy-go-lucky in the england camp that rooney reportedly lashed out at halftime and told rio ferdinand to "f*ck off", told his captain becks to "f*ck off you flash b*stard" and then tells assistant coach steve mcclaren to "f*ck off you c*nt".
what a nice boy.

usa: they take their revenge with a 2-0 win against a pedestrian mexican side sweetened by the fact that this result sends them to the world cup. nice work & goal from beasley, yet again.

other notes: mutu is back! his 2 goals against the czechs give romanians a shock win. it's a shame that it's already too late for them. france's old guard help them secure a win over the mighty faroe islands and a beautiful strike from titi (henry to the rest of you) breaks irish hearts. adriano's 2nd hattrick in a week sends brazil to germany while africa is where all the action is: togo and ghana at the world cup?? the ivory coast almost there but then cameroon (spurred on by promises of eto'o's money) claim victory and take control of the group while tunisia & morocco duke it out for the last spot.

i suck

dear listeners/readers,
this is my official apology for not keeping this blog up to date.... i hereby promise to be better.
love & kisses,

31 August 2005

Week 5 of Ligue 1

Marseille v Ajaccio
my corsicans managed to get a dodgy penalty & therefore, are still unbeaten (!!!) after 5 games which, after their terrible marking for the Marseille goal, is a miracle frankly. and Barthez does not need to hurry back after his spitting ban.... the replacement keeper is a cutie!

Auxerre v Lyon

oh dear. my cutie Pieroni made a terrible tackle & was lucky to only see a yellow rather than a red card! ouch. these boys need to sort themselves out. and quickly... before santini's eyes pop out of his head.
maybe it was Carew's hair - it's a weird slim spikey mohawk & the sides have a strange zigzaggy pattern shaved in.... yes, it's as strange as it sounds.

Week 1 of Serie A

Roma Roma Roma! one for each goal! and away from home. and Cassano pouting on the bench. i know i know... just let me bask in this until week 2.

Livorno v Lecce
Livorno looked good..... oh, except for those AWFUL rainbow kits. no, really, they have rainbow kits. at least Palladino is a cutie & had a lovely goal to distract me.

Fiorentina v Sampdoria
let's talk about Luca Toni. he's tall & hot & was everywhere during this game - an assist for Fiore's goal & then his own from a penalty that he won making yet another run into the box. *sigh* he is my new pretend footballer boyfriend.
and yay! the Sampdoria coach gets the honour of being the first to be sent off from the sidelines this season. surprise surprise - it's usually Capello.

Adriano v Treviso
oh, did I mean Inter?
hattrick the first day??? maybe all the folks predicting a Scudetto for the blue half of Milan this season know something.... can you imagine it? I'm not too sure how the long-suffering Inter fans would even react... tears of joy or total disbelief?

Week 1 of La Liga

Round 1 of Real Madrid v Barca
*ding ding ding* this round goes to Madrid - Robinho looks ready to take the superstar role away from Ronaldinho but let's also give credit to the Alaves keeper. oh and the Cadiz fans who were awesome.

Athletic Bilbao v Real Sociedad
the first basque derby & my bilbao boys get an emphatic win - with a very nice goal by Llorente who happens to be a cutie.

Valencia v Real Betis
speaking of cuties.... the fantastic Aimar goal that won this one was almost overshadowed by the Betis 2nd keeper's hair.... shiny, dark, straight & short on the sides and tapering off into a long tail down the back.... *shudders*

Week 4 of the EPL

Man City & Charlton love
2nd & 3rd in the table, no losses, playing good football, both with solid teams & solid managers but no superstars...... this is what makes the league fun to watch.

Spurs v Chelsea
have I mentioned how much I love Del Horno? we'll need him to continue scoring goals like that now that Terry is out for a month at least *sobs* and did anyone else notice Crespo fluffing his hair on the sidelines while waiting to be subbed on?

Sunderland & Newcastle pity
bless. one is the only professional team in England to not have a point yet & one hasn't been able to score a goal yet.

stop your sniggering in the back.

24 August 2005

European games

just a few thoughts...

Champions League: poor Everton. they fought a brave fight & Arteta had a nice goal but Villareal was just too strong. maybe they will have a better chance in the UEFA cup. Man Yoo, Inter, Ajax, & the Pool went through without any problems. Real Betis overcame Monaco to reach the group stage of the CL for the first time in their history a feat for Udinese as well. Congrats to both - I like underdogs (as long as they don't stand in the way of my boys in blue & their march to the final ;-) ).

Intertoto Cup
the match in Europe with all the action was one of the three finals in this competition: Marseille v Deportivo had 3 red cards, 10 yellows, 6 goals & a bust up in the tunnel at halftime! now that's some european action! (Marseille won the battle & move on to the Uefa Cup to join another french club, Lens)

Week 4 of Ligue 1

Auxerre, Auxerre, Auxerre! What happened??!!! 7 goals conceeded??!! I thought, ok, you were down to 8 men & had your third choice keeper and it was hailing. But, no. None of those things happened. You just had a bad bad day and Lens had a fanf*ckingtabulous day. And my cuite Pieroni gets a yellow card on top of it! Merde.

Toulouse v St. Etienne

Moreira not only has his good looks but his fantastic freekicks to keep my eye on him....... consider him my latest french hottie.

Ajaccio v Le Mans

My little corsicans missed chance after chance and could only manage a scoreless draw at HOME. This is not good. This is not how to stay in the top 10 or even in the top flight. It's early in the season but I hope this is not a sign of what's to come. *worried*

Week 2 & 3 of the EPL

Chelsea here, Chelsea there, Chelsea everyf*ckinwhere
OK, so we won by a lucky goal against an Arse that played poorly but we woke up against West Brom: nice Frankie goals - the new father - & a sweet baby celebration by all the boys; and wow - Joey Cole went from summer highlights to a Frankie-wannabe no-hair do...... can you please bring back your cute spikey hair Joey? I think new boy Del Horno has been a solid player in both games. And where did Titi disappear to during the Chelsea game? Jenny actually thought he was subbed off after not seeing him for the most of the second half!

Arsenal v Fulham

At least Titi showed up for this game..... even if he began by "winning" a penalty Pires-style within the first 10 minutes. Oh sweet justice when Lauren's shot was saved! But Captain Fantastic came back in style in the second half with 2 goals. Poor Fulham, they started off so brightly - penalty saved & scoring first.... I thought it was going to Chris Coleman's day.

Spurs Love

I've heard the requests, so here it is.... I am impressed. Great start to the season, a great coach, some amazing strikers.... little Mickey Owen better watch out - if he can't get a game, Defoe is going to steal his England spot; just check out his fantastic goal against Middlesbrough. A point away from home against Blackburn & ahead of Arse in the tables = best beginning of the season ever for all you Spurs fans out there. No wonder I chose Robinson for my fantasy football goalkeeper!

Liverpool v Sunderland
yay! Luis Garcia got a hiarcut & he's as cute as ever! Wish I could say the same about Cisse's hair......... at least I was distracted by the lovely freekick from Xavi.